CHAPTER 36

CHAPTER 36

 Birthday is a very happy occasion in anyone’s life. The day we are born that is to be celebrated by our loved once. When we are young we don’t know the meaning of birthday all we know is that we will get new clothes and food that we like the most and that means the whole world at that tender age as it shows us how special we are. As we grow we realize the importance of birthday, everyone has their own way to celebrate birthday of their loved once it’s either by cutting a cake, going out and spending day with them or giving them a surprise. But one thing that is common in all this is that this moment is special and cherished only when you have loved once to celebrate it with. It’s easy to be born and been raised but it’s had to survive when you know there is no place for you in the world you are part of. So how will a person who is supposed to cherish their birth feel when all they have seen is indifference and accusation and they don’t even know what crime they had done. People hardly realize that once a heart is wounded it’s very hard to heal it and ignorance only deepens the wound.

A week has passed since the phone call and over this period of time ASR’s anger has only increased. He knew that he would hurt khushi if he stayed close to her so he had packed his bag and left without a word as he knew that his rage will burn her and his as he was pretty close to lose his control and he never wanted to break a promise made to anyone. Even if he hardly gave his words to other but when he did he kept it. He was not a coward to go back on his word. So he has immersed himself in work. But tonight his mind was not in his control as it was reeling up those haunted memories that he wanted to keep in bay. So he had drowned himself in drink so he can bare the pain as he knew I his sense he will destroy everything as the rage would consume him and things surrounding him.

He tried to shake of the images but he knew today there was no escape and like every year on this day he has to live it again, even if he tried there was no way he can run from them.

Flashback

A seven year old boy was waiting in the lobby for past three hour, his face was hopeful that maybe he will get what he wishes for. A peon saw him and shook his head and walked past him. The old Lady sitting on her desk looked at the boy feeling sorry for him and said child you can go out and play in the garden I will call you when they call for you. The boy looked at her with his hopeful eyes and smiled at her and said fine ma’am I will wait out in the garden. He got up and walked to the small garden outside and started to play with his football.

Slowly the time started to move and it was lunch time but still he was playing out. The lady looked at him every now and then and felt sad for the poor child so she walked to him and said child its lunch time go for the lunch I will call you if there is a call for you.

Boy looked at her and shook his head in no and said no o won’t go for lunch, the canteen is at that end and if they call and I won’t be able to reach on time how will they wish me. The lady looked at those hopeful eyes not able to say anything walked toward the room again.

Morning turned into day and day into night but there was no call as it turned into evening and sun started to set so did his hope of getting a call on his birthday from his parents. He laid on the bench in the garden and looked at the sky with his teary eyes and prayed to the stars like his Nani taught him to grant a wish and make his parents call him. Even though his Nani had called and wish him and send a gift for him, his innocent heart wanted his parents to call him at least to wish him on his birthday. He never felt bad when others in the boarding school made fun of him that his parents didn’t care for him as it has been over a year he was enrolled her and neither of his parents had come to see him. He tried to make himself believe that they were busy but he knew it was a lie they neither had time before nor they have it for him now. 

He tried not to be hurt and understand them, but slowly the words and actions of others around him was having an impact on him. He had closed himself into shell and was least bothered about anyone but still as a child he still hoped his parents will see and realize one day how much he misses them, as they are the first relation he knew in this world and if it’s empty no one can fill this blank space. Their negligence was turning a kid into an adult and even before he would enjoy his childhood demanding him to be mature.

He slowly walked toward his private room. He had the best room in the boarding school and most of the boys would tease him for something or other and he had no idea why they would bully him. He would bare everything without a word as if he had no interest in anything all he did concentrate on was his studies and how to improve himself.

As day started to roll he made sure to be top in everything whether it was exams or extra circular activities. He every year topped his class and was appreciated by his teacher a lot. But still his parents had no time for him only his Nani will come to annual day function and meet his teachers. His hope were still alive in some corner of his heart that one day his parents will also be proud of him and love him like he does. 

He was ten year old now to this year he had begged his Nani to apply for two days holiday from the school as he wanted to spend his birthday with his family. So his Nani had agreed with him and now he was on his way to home. He was dam excited to celebrate his birthday after 4 years with his family. He was six year old when he was shipped off to boarding school. He looked at his Nani who smiled lovingly at him. She dropped him at his home and as she had told she had some work and needed to rush. He kissed his Nani’s cheek and bid her bye.

As soon as he entered his home he searched for his mother in the living room but she was nowhere there so he ran to her room and saw her standing near the dressing table and hugged her from back, his small hands could only reach up to her waist, but within a second he was pushed away.

He looked at her and said Mom, but before he could continue his Mom said what are you doing her. The boy looked at her and said Nani brought me here.

The lady looked at him completely ignoring his teary eyes and said so what I have to bare you dancing on my head listen carefully I won’t repeat it

“I don’t want you”

“Go out and if you come back her I will ship your ass to the place you had come from”

“Why do you keep on clinging to me all the time, how many times should I tell you, you are just the extra baggage I never wanted, no one wants you and never will.”

A slap landed on his soft cheeks making it burn red in flames and sting as the finger imprint was visible now on his soft cheeks he looked up at the person who held his hand harshly to cause him more pain and said why don’t you understand you dumbass no one was waiting for you and this surprise of you cost me a lost dammit and pushed him harshly on the ground and left.

A ten year old boy was looking with tears in his eyes but like always no one was there to wipe them away and he heard more abuses you are a fool who things he could be loved, love you are not even liked by anyone.

His birthday was ruined like every time but this time in a worst possible way that will leave an impact for his whole life. He was down with fever for a week after that incident but neither his parents were bother to look at her. He was just admitted into a hospital and all he had was his Nani who took care of him. Soon after he recovered he was send back to boarding school. This time he left his home with a heart that was shattered brutally but still the little innocent heart had a bit of hope for a better tomorrow.

After the end of the year he again came back home and like always his mother was busy in his own world. One day he got a call from his father that he was coming back in two days that made him happy as he hardly sees his dad and when every once in a blue moon his father calls all he asks him is about his study but still he craved to hear his voice and it kept the loneliness monster that tries to eat him up at bay.

Like every day he was playing with one of the servants as he had no other companion. They were playing hide and seek and he was finding a place to hide. He walked toward his parents’ bedroom as he knew both were out and no one will find him in there and he will win. So he quickly hid in the cupboard but made sure to keep the sliding door a bit open.

He never knew that this one decision will change the dynamics of his life. He was peeping through the gap when he saw his mother walking in to the room with a man. He looked at the man’s face and knew he was one of the friend of his father. He tried to hide himself from her as he knew if she found out he was here she will again hit him so he tried to hold his breath and closed the door of the cupboard so she won’t be able to see him.

But within a second he heard weird noises from the room and he wanted to know what was happening in the room but he was scared so he kept his eyes shut and waited for his mom to live the room. But the noises were getting loud and then he heard his Mom’s voice “you are so good in bed baby.” His little mind could not understand what his Mom was saying. But soon he will realize what she really meant. But he heard that again for few hours but all he was scared was to be caught.

After few hours he peeped out and saw the room was empty and slowly being cautions sneaked out of the room.

Days rolled by he was back to school. He was now a eleven year old boy and being in all boy school he had learned a lot of new things and one of them was the senior boys and their description of girls and one such night they had commanded everyone from grade 6 to 12 to meet at the hide out and everyday as they had a grand plan as they said that now they are no more boys but are stepping into adulthood and they needed to train them. So everyone has to agree to them or else their life would be hell and there will be no escape.

So with his classmates he had come to the hide out and now they were sitting on the ground they were hardly fifteen as it was a school for rich and influential so there were not more than 15 students in a class and there were three division of each grade and only limited student were admitted to this school. The senior looked at the boys and said today you will learn the anatomy of a man and women and how they complete each other. He looked at the senior and with resent knowledge he had got from the seniors about female body. Soon a move was played and everyone was looking at the screen and some were shocked and somewhere enjoying it. He looked at the screen and the sound coming from it made him shocked and he looked at the screen and what the man and women were doing her was shocked as he realized what his mother was doing with that man. But what hurt him is that his mom was cheating his dad as he had always heard his Nani say that a husband and wife should always be loyal to each other. As the move ended he silently walked out of the hideout,

He was really disturbed with the truth and next day he was supposed to go home. He wanted escape this reality but he had to go as his dad had called him. So without any way out he walked to the car waiting for him.

As soon as he got home his dad was waiting for him and said him to get ready as he was throwing a huge party as per the Raizada tradition as he is gone turn 12. He neither smiled nor was he excited so he got ready and attended the party which was a day before his birthday and it was not for him but to show off that how rich Raizada’s were and he stood in a corner seeing his parent interacting with the guest forgetting that it was his party and then he saw that man and saw him hugging his dad and he reciprocated the hug. He was mature than his parents knew as they never really knew him and he saw his other smile at him and his fist clenched looking at them so he moved out of the hall and toward his room. He was tired of living this lie of a happy family. A father who loved money more than spending tie with him and mother who he had no idea why loathed him. He just took his iPod and plunged in the headphone and started to listen to the music and slowly drifted off the sleep.

Next morning like every time he was here he did his breakfast alone. He was watching the TV when he saw his mom walking in with the same Man he didn’t knew his name neither did he care but this time he wanted to say something so he looked at her with the rage and hate he had for her and said Mrs. Seema and saw his mom’s shocked face. He had stopped talking to her a long back but today he wanted to say so he smirked at her and said make sure you lock the door so the sound won’t come out of the room.

He looked at the shocked face of his mother and smirked at her and soon felt a sting of her slap on his face.

Seema looked at her son and said so you know and stop showing you’re this attitude to me and pulled him up and said lets go. Soon they were standing in front of her room. She looked at her son and said so know you will guard this door and tell me as soon as you see anyone coming this way. I have been cautious to hide my secret but now as you know it you will guard it and smirked at him. He looked at his mom shocked and moved back but she held his face squeezing it and said don’t obey my order and I have friends who would love you and left him. His innocent mind was too shocked by her word. He came out of his dazed state when he heard the voice form the room. He stood their shocked. It was his birthday today and a lone tear dropped from his eyes.

He was still standing there when he saw his dad walking toward the room he was too afraid and shocked to stop them and he let his dad walk in the room and see the truth.

As soon as the room door was opened he heard his mom shout I had said you not to enter my room but rest of her words died as she saw my dad in front of her and then all I heard was them shouting. His dad asking his Mom why she cheated him and his Mom telling him that she never loved him and she had to bare his child and she hates him for that. She curse the day when she married him. His dad shouting his mom to get out of his house and saying that soon he will divorce her. His mom walking out on them.

A quick divorce was applied for and being influential his dad could move things rapidly fast. No one bother to understand how he felt about witnessing this. He was called on stand to testify against his mom and his Nani had said him to always tell truth and he did. His parents were divorced and his custody was given to him father who was least bother about him.

While leaving the court room his mother had walked toward them and smiled at them and said now I can leave my life as I wish without you both hanging on my neck and held the hand of the man she claimed to like and walked away.

Dad didn’t even bother to look at me and walked away cursing Miss. Seema now. I looked at them both who never needed me walking away from me and that day the hope to be loved by them died and so did the little boy named Arnav and he took first step to being ASR THE MONSTER THAT THE WORLD IS SCARED OF.

Flashback Ends.

ASR shut his eyes tight and drank more to forget but alcohol had never helped him to sooth his ache. He looked at the mirror in front of him and raised the glass and said Happy Birthday ASR and as soon as the clock turned to midnight he smirked and said the cursed day ends and got up and left the room he was locked in and walked out of the penthouse he was staying in for past one week and took his car and drove back home.

As soon as he entered his home he straight away walked toward his room and opened the door with a bang which made khushi who was sleeping soundly on her bed shocked and she looked at him without a blink. She looked at him who had returned home after a week and has not even said her where he was going. Just Aman had said that he had an important work and will be back soon but he was also not sure when. Khushi looked at him as he banged the door shut and gulped she could see the anger on his face and something more but it was gone as soon as it came.

ASR looked at his wife and said strip. Khushi looked at him and knew it’s better to do as he say so she quickly removed her night gown. ASR looked at her obeying his order and smirked soon his clothes were also on the floor and he walked toward her and pushed her on the bed and joined her. He held her really close to himself and their naked body was glued to each other. Khushi waited for his move but after minutes she heard his even breathing and looked down at him and found him sleeping. She looked at him shocked and surprised but soon her mind was tired of the man who was a puzzle and slept off.

TO BE CONT.......